The Unseen Consequences of Equally Sharing Household Chores

When it comes to sharing household chores, there are some subtle downsides that may not be immediately apparent. My husband is committed to his share of domestic labor, and I’ve come to accept this as our norm rather than a modern anomaly.
Thirteen years ago, when we moved in together, he was adamant about buying two cordless Dysons, assuring me that he would vacuum frequently to justify the expense. He has kept his promise and is also quite adept at laundry and fixing various things around the house. However, his attempts to deviate from his usual tasks often lead to more frustration than help.


For instance, he washes dishes but refuses to dry them. Due to his back problem, he dislikes bending down to unload the dishwasher, so he opts for the traditional method at the sink. Yet, he leaves the dishes to pile up, waiting for me to dry and put them away.


When it’s time to store leftovers, I need to act quickly. If I allow my husband to choose the food storage container, he invariably picks one that is either too large or too small. This results in either a vast amount of unused space in the fridge or a scattering of containers that make it easy to lose track of smaller portions of food.


Proper nesting and stacking of food storage containers is crucial for maximizing cabinet space and ease of use. My husband, however, struggles with this, and when left to his own devices, he invariably stores them in the least efficient manner, requiring me to rearrange them upon my return.


My husband also has a habit of taking out the garbage long before it’s full. He may dislike the sight of accumulating garbage or be unaware of the wastefulness of excessive plastic bag use. This is a point I might need to discuss with him further.


Lastly, my husband has a tendency to put things away in the wrong place, which is a source of frustration for me. I am particular about having a designated place for everything, especially in the pantry and refrigerator. When items are misplaced, such as deli meat in the cheese drawer or almonds in the chip drawer, it disrupts the order I prefer.


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Let’s not talk about the time I discovered a container of leftover spaghetti in the cupboard where cups and mugs live.


He Leaves Treats Out at Our Kid’s Eye Level. A sub-habit of the above is the tendency to leave chocolate and other treats out in the open, where my seven-year-old is sure to detect them. We love treats! We are a dessert-positive household. And I am happy that he tries to put things away. But no one needs to store candy at a child’s eye level, taunting them when they open the fridge door before dinner’s been served.


He Adds Ridiculous Items to My Grocery List. I keep a work-in-progress grocery list on a small yellow Post-it note inside the kitchen junk drawer. When I get to the store, I scan the list of items before making my rounds. There’s almost always something ridiculous scribbled on there in my husband’s handwriting in addition to our actual household needs, such as: “10 new condiments!” or “all the meatballs!” I honor these requests, which do not inspire confidence in my shopping prowess, at a rate of about 15%—except when the trespasser list item is “love me,” which is both affordable and adorable. (Fine, this habit is tolerable.)



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